Don't Be So Surprised

A post had to happen sooner or later; I just didn't imagine it would be THIS much later. Aside from plain, old laziness, I realized that writing about my life keeps me in my head. I do way too much of this and I really try hard to live instead of thinking about how to live my life. The whole "je pense donc je suis" thing is really overblown. Nothing is going to stop me from thinking, but when I'm spending time with others, when I'm in the middle of my life, I want to not have 43 things running through my mind. Coming here causes me to keep those hamsters on their wheel.

So, to sum up, my excuses for a six month dearth of blogging are: laziness and life. And the boy. Who, in those months has become the love of my life. My life. Which is fast become not just mine. SO much of it is intertwined with his and his children's. And I'm not even mentioning his mother. (Another time.) If I intend to keep writing, I need to figure out a way to do it without making any of these people uncomfortable. (Obviously, kids and mom don't read this. Phew.) Not only because it would make things for me pretty uncomfortable, but because it's fair.

Since (still working on what to call him) likes to tease me about not posting here, I suppose that means he doesn't mind it so much. And I suppose he shouldn't, since I tell him pretty much every thought that runs through my head, even if it takes a long time for them to make it out of my mouth. Maybe he likes the checks and balances of seeing what I say to him show up here in black and white. Or knowing that those near and dear to me (and a couple of strangers thrown in for good measure.) (and the computer that likes to leave comments in chinese?) will read about how great of a guy he is. No need for that either, because I'll tell anyone who asks, and some who don't. Maybe he hopes I'll stop feeling the need to tell him everything if I have an outlet here? Oy. I'm sure he'll let me know.