April Fool

At last, and at great pain, I've found a downside to being less cynical and more trusting; there are assholes out there in the world perfectly willing to take advantage of such a positive approach to life. 

It used to be very easy for me to think the worst of people, to see sinister motives in kindness. This was because I didn't have much of an interest in finding out their true intentions and I certainly wasn't interested in getting to know them. In many ways, it's easy to not trust anyone: none of your time is wasted getting to know someone who may end up being someone you don't wish to know; if you're prepared to be hurt by anyone at any time, you're never taken by surprise; and of course, if you don't allow yourself to feel close to anyone, you'll never feel betrayed.

But I made a big change and a decision to give the benefit of the doubt whenever I have the chance. This is a really, really good way to live. I'm sure it is. Even if it has the potential to cause hurt feelings. 

Here's the short version of the story: Girl meets boy. Girl and boy exchange 1,000 texts over a fun, flirty week. Boy takes girl out a couple of times. Girl, despite less than strong feelings for boy decides this thing can work after all and, as a result, makes a rash (read:stupid) decision. Boy never calls girl again. Now for the REALLY lame part: Girl makes this mistake a LOT.

Despite premenstrual crankiness and some general malaise, I'm going to look at the onset of April and this sunny day which followed days of downpour as a fresh start. I'm determined to stay positive and keep doling out my trust. The chance of being hurt is worth the risk of that big payoff I get from so many of my loved ones and the one I'm sure to get one day from some lucky, lucky boy.

Postscript: Girl's sending of hostile emails and texts only improves bitter mood slightly. Girl may need pissed off cousin with a flaming bag of dog crap to really feel better.