Are You Listening?

Because sometimes, I'm not. I may be daydreaming, stuck on the thing you said three things ago or trying to list the states in alphabetical order. I will LOOK like I'm paying attention, but that's not always the case. Obviously, this is something about which I've become aware. And as such, something I'm working on improving. Not improving my fake listening, but ACTUALLY listening.  

So, it was exciting when a visit to my local Buddhist prayer meeting included a lesson on "deep listening". We were to ask a partner an open-ended question and listen to her answer for five minutes. And not say anything. And I did. I listened. Deeply. Except for the part where I got distracted by thinking about the fact that I was really listening. But that only lasted for a few seconds. 

And the big accomplishment, in my mind anyway, came when the tables were turned and I was the answerer. Before we'd started the exercise, I had informed my partner (a woman I'd just met) that I was much more the talker than the listener. But when it was my turn to talk, those five minutes seemed to drag on soooo long. I even stopped in the middle to say "my five minutes are much longer than yours!". She didn't agree. The point, I think, is that it was easier for me to listen than to be listened to. In this instance, anyway. Should that make me proud? Because it does! 

In closing, I'm sure YOU were not the object of my faux listening, but now you know for sure that all my attention will be focused on you. Or at least that thing you said three things ago.