Last month, C and I were at a party at our friend J's house and we met T, a man J had gone to school with years ago. C and I both liked T, found him cute and funny. As we inevitably do, we started asking questions. Okay, so maybe it was more of a grilling. But he had a clear interest in J and we wanted to know what was up with him. 

It didn't take long to touch on a subject he was uncomfortable discussing, I believe the topic was his father. But we found more. He tried to laugh off his unease, but it was clear we were hitting nerves. At one point I looked at him, only half-jokingly and said, "T, let us KNOW you." T and C both laughed, but I kept my composure and repeated myself. I tried to explain to him what I'd been learning for myself, that the only way to connect with another person is to let that person know you. T was not ready for that particular advice, but I do hope he'll remember it. 

I think some people get too invested in their privacy or trying to emit an air of mystery, thinking it will make them more intriguing. It might. But only to a point. Eventually, someone is going to look that person in the eye and say "let me KNOW you." If that person isn't willing to let him/herself be known, that someone is going to give up. But, hopefully, someday the someone will say those words and that person will want to be known.